But, I’ve become concerned at how much Natasha was absorbing my ideas about food.  Particularly my emphasis (hey, I am back in the trying-to-lose mode) on eating-different-from-the-rest-of-the-family.

Not only was she wanting to eat all of my bought-especially-for-me-even-though-it’s-a-bit-more-expensive foods, she was asking “how many points is this?” about good foods rather than the candy I’d be happy to redirect her from eating.

That and (TMI warning) I’ve gained back 14 of the 18 lbs I lost, somehow managing to stay in the same (no-longer-loose) size-6 pants.

The weight that’s come back has appeared in a different pattern than I’ve (remembered) living with before, and I’m resigning myself to the observed pattern that my accumulation seems connected to my attachment to breads and cereals (even whole grain types).

So the South Beach Phase 1 seems a reasonable experiment, both in discipline and verifying my assumption that the grains are affecting me the way I guess they are.

At the moment I’m still counting points (WW-style) and I plan to continue attending meetings, because I find it hugely encouraging to be around other women who are trying to eat more-healthy.

Also, Jay’s packed my scale and it’ll give me a gauge besides my clothes that my hard work is paying off.

Though, clothes will be a big deal. I re-knuckled down becasue I refuse to re-buy size-eights.  For pity’s sake! I was in the larger 4s before I stopped paying attention to my food choices.

Now that I’ve seen what my body is capable of I am much less willing to *sigh* and accept something that doesn’t feel great.

“Only let us live up to what we have already attained.”

This is my current goal; and if God should reveal more in time, He knows I’m willing.

I wish we as private sellers were allowed such a shortcut. I’d never close any deal until we’d asked for last and best. no matter how many offers we had.

Okay, that’s not quite true, but it surprises me that negotiation ever happens if this is an option– like the difference between Fred Meyer and the bazaar.

Now we wait for tomorrow (or the next day) for our understanding.

I was about to say fate, but I don’t believe in that.

The “stager” came today and told us where to set furniture and accessories for pictures and best showing.  Quite intriguing.

We’re going to have to borrow a bed (thank God we could borrow one– it would have sunk another $100-200 on top of the rest.

It was cool though, on one level, because I got to put together a bed/decoration scheme based completely on color and nothing to do with my own preferences.

I was told to find a big piece of art for the master bedroom that worked with whatever bed colors I chose. Of course, I realized this would mean being subject to whatever art (and price of art) I could find– which for me would mean spending way too much time looking at art I couldn’t bring myself to buy because it was too expecnsive.

So I did it in reverse: I found a piece of art with the recommended colors (earth tones) and built my pillow-enhanced display around that $32 choice. The picture even gave me an “accent” color that I love to hate but will tie the room nicely together.

The house is definitely a fixer-upper, but Jay pointed out that’s what we have to expect to both increase land size and eliminate debt.

We have two more days before they’re accepting offers, so Jay’s trying to find an engineer who can go out before then to verify the quality of the foundation.

The floor is not level, but that seems to be as much a flaw of the maker as anything else, so Jay’s willing to pursue it on the idea that we might be able to fix it.

It is a solid 25 minute drive from town, so I will want to work out constructive (instructive) radio alternatives to make the best use of the time, but it the land is already cleared and (as only our early spring could have shown me) grass is already well-established.

The grass thing is a big-deal I didn’t think to consider before I saw it in front of me: we’ve started two lawns (in two different places) and it’s a fair amount of work I’m happy not to repeat.

And of course the biggest big deal is that the price is low enough that we could actually afford to pay for help getting the last of things put together.

We hope so, at least. We haven’t done the research yet– and then we’re going to be praying over how and who to hire– but we’ll let that day’s trouble wait til then.

I have officially reached the point of risk that I said before I wasn’t at yet. It is an effective incentive to pray.

Part of this is basic, since I’ll be the one responsible for them, but I’ve felt honored that he trusted my process enough not to second-guess me.

And this morning he pointed out that I’m not extending the same courtesy to him.

He describes wanting to build, and instead of agreeing that he is equally motivated to change and take on new challenges, I’ve been questioning him.

So now I’ve had my dose of perspective, apologized, and begun looking at things in a more balanced way: primarily, now that we have a goal (“finishing” the house so it’s ready to go on the market) Jay has been nothing but diligent.

Knowing myself, and knowing how similar we are, I should be completely comfortable with trusting him to stick at a project, because he has a clear goal, and how to reach it.  In my experience this makes all the difference.  And it’s Jay who seems to have remebered it first this time.

~

On a side note, we’ve let go of both the properties we saw this week: Jay decided the drive was too much to commit to.

But I don’t know yet if I can trust that call.  Especially since Jay and I aren’t completely in alignment yet.

Not in opposition, but not yet sharing the same vision.

So I will wait, because this move could be the greatest blessing God bestow, or the meanest curse we might call down on ourselves. And my faith isn’t yet strong enough to test which side this house falls on.

• Sheep:
  • Shetland
• Geese
  • Pair of Chinese Whites
    • Mercie & Caretaker (Ranger Commander) if we get a breeding pair.
      • Nice chuckle for the family (it’s a married couple from a book)
• Goat (when/if we go there– definitely want to start with sheep)
  • Nigerian dwarf
    • want the smaller feed requirements for the lower milk needs
    • We know people who can’t use all the milk their animals produce and we want to match output as closely as we can to consumption.
• Ducks
  • Khaki Campbell
• Haven’t talked to our bee people yet

• Sheep
  • Primarily for wool, but the un-kept ones would be translated to the freezer
• Hand-spinning of the wool
• making as many articles from the wool as we can learn to make.
  • Knitting of mittens/socks/stockings/sweaters/long-johns
  • weaving of rugs, scarves, towels
• Growing enough straw/hay/feed to get our little passel of animals through the winter without buying more
• planning/maintaining/preserving a family garden that will preclude needing to buy produce more (or all) of the year
  • Pair of geese for weed/bug control in the garden
• greenhouse for non-Alaskan stuff like fruits and/or nuts and/or flowers
• Bees for honey
  • especially since I seem to be allergic/sensitive to cane sugar and it’d be nice to have a ready alternative.
• Seed collection
• 3 chickens or 3 ducks (so we don’t get more eggs we can use)
  • I can see “paying” extra for the fresh/quality/ “organic” eggs for our family, but I can’t expect there to be a true market for $5/dozen eggs.
• If we move to adding goats I’d want to stick with the pygmies
  • a combination of the kids being able to handle them sooner, and the same issue with the eggs: wanting to tailor the collection to match our family’s needs as closely as possible, so as to prevent waste or paying more for feed than we’re getting out of the working animal.
• *Not* interested in pigs.
• May consider rabbits for meat and /or fiber if I get really good as hand spinning (rabbit hair is trickier than wool)
• May consider an alpaca as a guard animal for the sheep and for the fiber, but we certainly won’t start there or need to go there before we do a lot of sheep.  Which would be a step beyond family-centric and moving into cottage industry.
  • And I’m actually trying really hard at this point *not* to think that far ahead, because then I’ll be thinking more about “market” than how best to serve my family (which in various permutations has gotten me consistently into trouble.)
• Poultry
  • I’ve already mentioned the geese– which I love linking to the garden
  • ducks– which will probably be really messy, and I’ll need to figure out water for, but aesthetically I like so much better than chickens.
  • Meat chickens.  Because if we’ve got the space to grow ‘em, we might as well because we’re still going to buy them, and the ones we buy were probably grown in embarrassing if not cruel conditions.
• Tapping birch trees (if we have them on the property God provides) to make syrup– the Alaskan version of maple syrup.

The neat thing about our community is that there are loads of farsighted people already working to help others be less dependent on the lower-48.  There are loads of local resources on organic and small-scale farming along with a a thriving 4-H community.

There are all sorts of neat opportunities and I can see already my greatest challenge is going to be pacing myself and working carefully to keep the children involved.

It only took blogging two days for me to realize I couldn’t  keep up that level.

I am so thankful now to be *done*.

Totally want to try this recipe again– trusting my blender more.  I added too much salt and too much water, both because I was impatient.  This is the recipe I want to try on my next potato day:

2 large potatoes, pealed and cut in pieces
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup potato starch
1/4 cup water (to help the blender)

I’ll be doubling this if Jay’s home.  There was just enough for one meal, and most of us would have taken another meal of these– I use meal loosely.  I had approximately 9 today, and still will probably take some more grapes before I crash.

Blend till smooth. More water if needed for pancake batter consistency.

Only, I didn’t trust my blender and added more water and ended up having to strain out as much water as I could while keeping the near-liquid potato from going with it.

Yeah.  That much fun. But I’d only bought two potatoes so if I was going to do this today it was going to be this way.

Elisha passed, but both girls filled up on them, so it was worth it.

Bake cut-side up 40-60 minutes.